Missing him

All of a sudden, I am missing him today. Even though I haven't seen him for a long time, or maybe he already has a new partner, I am missing him. Went out and saw a light aircraft flew past and a few people parachuting, I miss him more. I thought I had let go of the pass, but a lot of the things which happen around still remind me of him. I still receive his e-mails every week though they are just a 'hi and bye' ones. I continue to think about him. What does he want from me to make me suffer? Sometimes, I wish I can just cut him out of my life but maybe it's me who can't let go. Not once but many times I had been cheated on. I should...I should...